You smell like stripper and shame
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
