My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
