Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
