Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
soo... how was my night?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
