As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
