if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
