how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
