"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
