my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
