I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
