i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
