I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
