Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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