okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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