Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
