I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
