he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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