1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
