I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
