God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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