Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
