Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
