I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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