dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
