just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
