R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am never drinking with the goths again.
A+ Viking dick
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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