We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
