how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Four minutes until I can fart!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
