is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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