it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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