i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
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Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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