Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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