But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
