We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
