I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
