Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
