here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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