My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
