You're completely useless in the revolution.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
