Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
