You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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