Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
