I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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