Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
