its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
