I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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