Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
