What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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