I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
