I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I could fuck to npr.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
