a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Best friends brother. Beat that.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
