The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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