so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
nutella sex= disaster
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
