Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
