Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
