Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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