youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just pee around me
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
