it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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